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Vol. 6, Iss. 6
July 12, 2017


Insurance For The Summer Road Trip



Summer is here. And for many that means a road trip. Pack up the station wagon, put the ear-phone wearing, sulking kids in the back seat, and take off to see this great country. And, of course, the best road trip is one that includes stops at roadside curiosities. And the country is full of them – there’s the 55 foot Jolly Green Giant statue in Blue Earth, Minnesota and the 33 foot tall office chair in Anniston, Alabama. And a million more.

Most roadside curiosities seem innocent and safe enough. As far as I can tell from the pictures, the colossal Jolly Green Giant and massive office chair look pretty sturdy.

But, of course, as in all things in life, the unpredictable is always lurking around the corner. Thus, the purveyors of these quirky attractions need to be insured for all possible mishaps. If they are not convinced that this is necessary, consider all of these things that could go awry at some of America’s greatest roadside curiosities:

World’s largest ball of twine (Cawker City, Kansas): The world’s largest kitten shows up and eats two visitors from South Dakota.

World’s largest donut (Inglewood, California): A gale force wind causes the world’s largest sprinkle to come loose and injures a tourist from New Hampshire.

World’s largest chicken wing (1,037 pounds) (Madeira Beach, Florida): The onset of coronary artery disease begins after looking at it for five minutes.

Eight foot tall bronze statue of The Toilet Paper Hero of Hoover Dam (Boulder City, Nevada): Statue blows over and wipes out the nearby shopping center.

World’s largest ketchup bottle (77 feet) (Collinsville, Illinois): Two smart-aleck teens from Seattle disturb wetlands when attempting to build the world’s largest French fry on the site.

World’s largest thermometer (134 feet) (Baker, California): It falls over causing massive mercury contamination of the town’s aquifer.

Plaque marking the spot in Madison, Wisconsin where, in June 1977, Elvis Presley exited his limo and performed karate moves to stop two youths from beating another youth
: Visitors take videos for Facebook, recreating the King’s karate kicks, and pull hamstrings.

World’s largest wooden nickel (San Antonio, Texas): While advertised as 13 feet, visitors arrive and discover that it is, in fact, the size of an ordinary wooden nickel. Sued for misrepresentation, the Wooden Nickel Museum (really) asserts the Don’t-take-any-wooden-nickels defense.

World’s largest charcoal grill (90 feet) (Magnolia, Arkansas): Father of five, wearing a “Kiss the Chef” apron, impales himself with the world’s largest skewer, attempting to grill the world’s largest steak kabob.

World’s largest spinach can one million gallons (Alma, Arkansas): World’s largest e-coli outbreak after an overzealous tour group cracks the can, attempting to lug it to Chester, Illinois, for a photo op with the world’s largest Popeye statue (6 feet).

World’s largest clothes pin (45 feet) (Philadelphia, Pennsylvania): Taxi driver is injured in a crash after several pairs of tattered boxer shorts break free from the pin and land on his windshield, obstructing his view. Area frat boys later claim that the dryer was broken in their dorm.

So have fun hitting the road and enjoying the monuments to the imagination and good fun of many people. Send a copy of yourself, standing in front of any of these curiosities, holding this issue of Coverage Opinions, and I will send you a Coverage Opinions coffee mug (next up on the swag to-do list). Believe me, I agree. It’s definitely not worth going out the way for, but if you happen to be in the neighborhood….

That’s my time. I’m Randy Spencer. Contact Randy Spencer at

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